Depression, Lonlieness ,and The Pursuit of Something

so i had this dream the other night and in it i was with the girl of my dreams she was perfect in every way and i felt complete… and then i woke up and i immediately felt depressed and alone and it was quite terrible. but these days there are so many things pushing you to find the perfect one you know the one you need to find the one everyone else has why haven’t you, whats wrong with you doesn’t anyone like you what makes you so bad that no one likes you. its really just accelerating the depression in america. Along with this it seems everyone in your life is pushing you from a very young age the most common question is “what do you want to be when you grow up?” maybe i don’t know maybe i wont figure it out for a long time maybe ill be 55 and then finally figure out that i want to be a human aid worker in Haiti. It just seems like you always have to be pursuing something you cant just live your life and be happy we always have to plan for the future and we get so caught up in doing this that we miss our lives and then one day we die and as we are dieing we finally realize that holy shit i’m 95 years old and all i’ve done is work and pay bills its ridiculous, i just wish we could all take a step back and say no i will live my life differently i will enjoy every moment and be kind to people and do my best to be a better person.