So a few weeks ago i made a post about being afraid to fall asleep because i didnt want to have another dream about a girl. 

Well i had another one last night, only this one is a little bit different when i met the girl she rejected me and i saw myself in the third person but as two seperate people a lighter me with a light in the center who was significantly smaller than the other who was darker and had a coal black center. i dont really rememeber what happened next but i felt a flowing happiness  and the two mes became one and i grabbed the girl and her mood changed i couldnt hear anything but i could feel it in my.. soul i suppose, and then i was running and i felt complete and happy for the first time in a long time i cant begin to descrube the pure hljoy that was so powerful when i woke up i was still happy and it wasnt until a few hours later that i started to feel depressed again.

So i dont really know what im saying other than im not really afraid of those kind of dreams anymore but if i were to have more like the one i just had i would be very much ok with it.


Tired and apologetic

So if you’re reading this Mr.nope i think you will underatand how bad of shape i am in mentally and how much i appreciate your friendship. I know im an asshole and can be a pain in the ass what with the constant hanging out and bugging you i feel bad about it all the time but i have relied so heavily on you being there these past 6 months i dont think i would have made it without you. Im probably not going to post this because if you did read this i feel like it would guilt you into hanging out with me more even if you didnt want to and i dont want that at all.